My relationship with the Portuguese Ninja
is going very slow. It feels like its going somewhere, but it is just taking
forever. It’s probably a good thing.
All I hear from some girls is all about
there boyfriends and how amazing hot and awesome they are. Blah! It makes me
feel awkward, like my relationship with my guy is not real or something.
For
example:
I’ll call them Sally and Sophia…I work with
them at the theatre. They are much younger then me. Perhaps it’s a generational
thing?
Sally: I just had 7 days of sex…
Me: I had seven somewhat dates?
Me
thinking: Way too much information…thanks for
reminding me for my lack of sex life. Urgh!
Sophia: Maybe in your head it’s a date but it’s probably just hanging out.
Me: I figured.
Me
thinking: blah shut up!
Sally: Mine has the most beautiful man butt and abs. I can count them. He
is so awesome…and cute. He is literally the perfect guy.
Sophia: Mines really awesome too…and hot.
Me
thinking: Good for you!
Me: Mine, well not really mine…he is just a little bit taller then me,
cuddly and umm has pretty eyes?
Sally: We went on awesome dates and had such a good connection.
Me: He let me put his arm next to his.
Sally
and Sophia: awkward silence….
Sally:
Mine kept buying me stuff…I had to tell him to
stop.
Me: Mine won’t buy me anything, and he won’t let me buy him anything
either, (although he did buy me a bagel and coffee on our very first coffee.)
Sophia:
Well that’s good.
Me: he is super nice and respectful guy though.
Sophia: Well that’s important.
Me
thinking: And obviously looks too according to you
two.
Sally: Mine has hardly any hair. He is like the least hairless guy I have
ever met.
Sophia: Mine too. His legs have hardly any hair. It’s so unfair.
Sally: I know right.
Sophia: We girls have to worry about hair and here there are guys that have
no problems at all.
Me: Mine is hairy…but I don’t mind.
Me
thinking: Isn’t hair natural on human bodies both
women and men?
Sally
and Sophia: awkward silence….
Sally: Want to see a picture of him. (shows us a picture or her amazingly awesome
lover…)
Sophia: He is hot!
Me: he is cute….
Me
thinking: meh!
Me: want to see a picture of my guy friend? I kind of photo bombed him.
He is eating grapes.
Sally: I already saw him.
Me: such and such though he was
cute.
Sophia:
Hmmm... (in an approving like manner, she shrugs.)
Me: My guy is Portuguese
Sally: Portuguese people are crazy.
Me: OK…well there was this old Portuguese lady at the farmers market
who insisted I wanted to buy flowers.
Sally: See they always a bit cray cray! They are the East Indians of
Europe!
Me
thinking: That’s racist!
Me: He doesn’t seem crazy.
Me
thinking: Fuck you!
P.S. It’s what’s on the inside that counts.
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